


with our memories

by midpink



Series: from the mirror to my eyes [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midpink/pseuds/midpink
Summary: Jackson struggles with Jinyoung's secret. inspired by ex girl - monsta x ft wheein





	

    Jackson had always been one to follow his contract dutifully down to the smallest detail. He figured he wasn't the only one. Even Jaebum who, despite finally having a grip on his temper hadn't loosen when it came to the rules of their contract. None of the other members, not even the younger members, shown any signs of rebelling. Which was why it came as a shock to him, when he went to the car only to find his best friend and fellow member getting cozy with a girl the other sworn he was over with.

  "Jinyoung?!"

  The two broke apart at the sound of his voice. The girl, shocked by the interruption quickly, scooted away, making space between them. Jinyoung glanced at her apologetically, and reached out to grab her hand. But Jackson was having none of it, and cleared his throat while holding a steel gaze to the other member. Jinyoung sighed, and turned to Jackson, "I'll talk to you later."

  "No, I can go," the girl quickly spoke up, voice barely heard by the two guys. She slipped out of the car, avoiding Jackson's gaze all the time.

  Once she was gone, Jackson shot a look to Jinyoung, demanding, "What the hell was that?"

\---

  Jackson, despite his loud antics and arguably rude comments, never once broke the rules. Even the idea of him bending them was close to impossible. Which was partly why she walked away. She knew it was against his moral code or something, if she stayed. When his contract clearly stated a no dating clause, was when the fights began. Like most fights, it started off as mild irritations when dates are missed, calls cut short and little to no communication for weeks. Even when they finally talked, it only led to arguments. He tried to make up for it, she knew he did. Whenever they could finally make a date, Jackson would take her somewhere special, bringing different types of food fusions, just because he knew she loved them. He would ask everything about her that he missed, and listened so earnestly.

  She knew he loved it, the life of a trainee. He had never seen him as happy as he was back then since he was told he was qualified for the Olympics. He would worry about him since neither of them were completely familiar with the rules of the Korean, and she heard they could be quite strict about it. But each time he talks about the other trainees, his new friends, he always sounded vibrant, happy, never really sad. Granted, once or twice he told her of a stressful day or that one frustrating trainee, but he would always go back to his bright self, pouting and demanding that she comforted him.

  Back then, she was the shoulder he needed. His escape from the idol trainee world.

\---

  "Jackson, I need you to let it go," Jinyoung told him.

  "I can't just let that go," the Chinese protested. "I just saw you with that girl in our car! What if manager hyung caught you two instead?"

  " _That girl_ was Rachel," Jinyoung said, patiently. "She's met manager hyung. In fact, she's met all of you. You like her. You said so, yourself. She's sweet and unexpectedly wittty. Your words, not mine."

  "That's not the case right now!" Heaving a sigh, Jackson asked him, "Are you two- Is there something going on between the two of you?"

\---

  But as his trainee life progressed, Jackson grew just a little bit paranoid and she knew, the guilt was weighing him down. Especially when the others found out he was training to be an idol. While they had no problem admitting their relationship prior, people started questioning it when word got out Jackson got scouted. She remembered when her friends came to her, carefully walking around egg shells when they talked about her relationship with Jackson.

   _"I'm glad Jackson still got to train despite the two of you," Shu Hui said._

_"What do you mean?"_

It never really occured her at first, how him being a trainee would affect their relationship. She had simply figured that the biggest change to their relationship was him being slightly busier and telling her about people other than his classmates. In a way she was right, she just didn't expect it to be so hard. He would be tired but happy when they meet, and while he was eager to talk to her, she knew he needed to sleep.

\---

  "You have to tell the others," Jackson hissed to the younger, as soon as they returned to their dorm. Not that he gave Jinyoung much choice on where to go next.

  "No Jackson, this is none of their business," Jinyoung told him firmly. "Neither is it your business."

  "It is our business when it affects GOT7 as a whole."

  Rolling his eyes, Jinyoung pushed past him and headed straight to his room. Probably to text Liechel. Jackson would know, he used to do it everytime his date with his ex girlfriend was cut short.

  "What's wrong with Jinyoung?" Jaebum asked, noticing the situation immediately. Jackson secretly wondered how long it will take before Jaebum found out. How would their leader react?

  But for now, it was still not his secret to tell, so all Jackson did was shrug in reply. Jaebum gave him a look, before turning to Jinyoung's door with a thoughtful look.

\---

  It wasn't that she didn't trust him. If anything, Jackson was one of the most loyal person she knew. She knew he would never cheat on her. But she also knew by signing the contract to JYP, Jackson's loyalties were conflicted. It wasn't that she wanted to make him choose her, or anything. But after five dates being cancelled, she sometimes wonder if he had made his choice without even realizing it.

\---

  It's been over a week, and Jackson was starting to get agitated. The worse part was now that he knew, it had become a lot more obvious whenever Jinyoung would slip away from them. How the other was on his phone a lot more. How Jinyoung has slowly became like Mark and rarely left his room, once they returned back to their home. How occasionally the other would trail behind them, ending up as the last member to actually reach their place.

  It irritated Jackson, whenever Jinyoung disappeared, and he was the only one who knew where he really went.

  "Jinyoung hyung's not here yet," Youngjae said, when the manager asked who's missing.

  "Where is he? He knows we're on a tight schedule today," their manager said, annoyed.

  "Do you know where he is?" Jaebum asked Jackson, who could only shrug as he quickly shot out a message to the missing member.

  Realizing he won't get any answer, the leader sighed and told their manager, "I'll go look for him."

  As soon as the words were spoken, Jinyoung appeared with an apologetic bow and a sheepish smile. The manager wasn't satisfied at all, but before he could berate the younger, his phone sounded and he quickly ushered the boys into the car, for their next fanmeet.

  In the car, their manager's phone wasn't the only one that kept buzzing, Jinyoung barely got in the car, when his phone signaled him on an incoming message. He had quickly taken his phone out, ultimately stopping in the middle of the way until Yugyeom slapped his to get moving. Once in his seat, the older didn't bother to retaliate, attention focused on his phone. This caused the maknae to grow curious, especially fifteen minutes into the drive, and Jinyoung was still furiously typing out messgae after message. He nudged Youngjae and silently titlted his head towards Jinyoung.

  "Hyung! Jinyoung hyung," Youngjae called, barely getting a reaction out of the older. "Come on, we're playin-"

  "'m busy."

  "Jinyoung hyung has been busy on his phone since we left," Bambam pointed out.

  "So? We're always on our phone in the car," Jinyoung said, defensively, finally looking up to the other members.

  "No, we play games in the car," Youngjae said, laughing brightly. He was feeling extra cheerful that day, especially after beating Jaebum in that one racing games twice just before.

  "Who're you on the phone with anyway?" Jaebum spoke up.

  "No one," Jinyoung said hastily, earning a look from their leader. "I was playing a game."

  "What game?" Youngjae asked, leaning over to see.

  "A new one. You don't know it," the older said, quickly putting his phone away. "Anyway, what were you guys playing?"

  It was stupid of Jinyoung to try to lie, Jackson thought to himself, especially to Jaebum. The two can practically read each other like a book.

\---

  "Jackson?"

  He didn't even hear her. Probably too lost in dreamland as he snored lightly with his head heavy on her shoulder. He looked so vulnerable, so tired. He must have had a busy week. She shifted slowly and carefully, so his head would end up on her lap instead. She carded her finger through his dark locks, smiling fondly at the face she missed so much.

  They hadn't seen each other in weeks, and even when they do, it was a greeting, a quick kiss and empty promise to make some time for each other. She knew he was busy, but that didn't make things easier. She missed their small talks, their private dates, even his insistence on exploring Seoul despite their lacking skill in the local language. She missed the way he tells his stories and his boisterous laughter. She missed the way he would hold her close and whisper nonsense in her ears just to gross out their friends.

  She missed him.

\---

  The recording studio was quiet in the late hours, perfect for some quiet time to work on a piece of music, or just a place to catch a quick shut eye. In this case, the studio was a perfect place to have secret phone calls with secret girlfriends. Which was the main reason the studio was the first place Jackson thought of when he went looking for Jinyoung.

  Jinyoung barely glanced up from the music sheets when Jackson walked in, "What?"

  "You should tell the others."

  "Jackson-"

  "You should tell the others before the company finds out," he insisted. "They deserve to know the risk you're putting the group in."

  "Look, this is between me and Liechel," Jinyoung hissed. "I don't see how it even concerns you."

  "It concerns every one of us, especially when you get caught!"

  "We won't-"

  The studio door opened shutting up the both of them immediately, especially when their leader walked in. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and turned back to working on his music. Jackson glanced between the two of them before saying, "You should at least tell Jaebum hyung."

  "Tell me what?" the older asked, eyeing carefully between the two of them, as he went to sit on the sofa.

  Jinyoung sighed, turning around to face his two members, "About Liechel. He already knows, Jackson. He cornered me earlier after the fanmeet, practically interrogated me about it."

  "You were late, and basically distracted during the fansign," Jaebum countered, with a steel gaze on the younger.

  "Wait, you knew?" Jackson turned to the leader. "And you're okay with this?"

  "It's fine as long as Jinyoung's being careful about it," Jaebum told him.

  "But isn't this against the company policy?" Jackson asked.

  "Jackson-"

  "Isn't there a no dating clause in fine print on our contract?"

  "Yes, but-"

  "How can you let him get away with this?" he demanded. "I thought you two have debuted before. You both should know better!"

  "They're not officially dating. Technically, they're just seeing each outside of work," Jaebum explained to the chinese, slowly.

  "That's it? That's the big excuse you'll give the press and the company and JYP nim when they all find out," Jackson said, feeling frustrated at his two friends who clearly could not see the bigger picture.

  "What? You want me to dump Rachel?" Jinyoung flared, glaring at him. "You want me to just stop seeing her? I figured you of all people would understand."

  "How? How could you think that I would understand this?" Jackson asked. "Why would you possibly think that I could understand you risking everything GOT7 did just for some girl?"

  "Because you had a girl too!"

  "Jinyoung," Jaebum warned, knowing that this was a sore topic for Jackson. He could see the way the chinese's eyes looked sad for a fleeting moment.

  "Right before we debuted, you told me you had a girlfriend. I figured you'd understand because you went through the exact same thing before," Jinyoung said, trying not to raise his voice. "You had a girl you actually loved enough to keep it  secret from the company."

  "It ended before we debut. As soon as Girls Girls Girls came out, I was loyal to our company. I stayed true to the contract, because I wasn't stupid enough to risk all our training for some stupid love affair."

  "I guess that's what makes us different."

\---

  She didn't know how long she waited outside the building. She knew at one point, she wondered if it was even the right building. But then after a while, she saw him among a group of guys. Taking a deep breath she waved at him and called out, "Jackson!"

  While it got the other guys' attentions immediately, it took her a few more calls to get his. He looked at her and smiled, before turning back to one of the guys he was with. He said something, before going over to her. She heard them call out something to him, but could barely make out what they were saying. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered but the one coming up to her with a big smile, tired but bright eyes and a new haircut that could only make her smile. 

  "Xiao Yue," he said, pulling her in for a kiss. "I missed you."

  "Your hair's different," she said.

  "Yeah, I cut it for the debut," he said, eyes twinkling towards it. "Did you hear? I'm going to debut as a rapper in a boy group!"

  "Yup, I saw your picture in a magazine a few days ago," she said, loving the way his arm stayed wrap around her. "Congratulations! I'm proud of you. This gives us two things to celebrate tonight."

  "It does?"

  "Yup, your upcoming debut and our two year anniversary," she said, brightly. "I brought some food and drinks over, so we can have it wherever you want. I figured you'd know the best hiding spots for a nice quiet date."

  But seeing the look on his face, her smile fell off as well as his arms, "What?"

  "I can't tonight. I'm supposed to be celebrating with the guys on our debut at the nearby grill place," he told her.

  "But tonight's our anniversary," she said, quietly.

  "I know, but all our managers and even JYP himself is expecting to see us all there as a group," he told her. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. I'll even cook for you."

  "When?"

  Jackson ransacked his brain for a time he's free, as he tried to remember their schedule, "When I'm free."

  "When is that, Jackson?" she snapped. He was shocked to see tears in her eyes, and reached out to wipe them away. Only for her to jerk away, "When are you free? When are you ever free? You don't have time for us anymore."

  "That's not true," he told her, wishing she would let him comfort her.

  "That's not true? When was the last time we had a proper date? No, when was the last time we had a proper conversation?"

  He tried his best to refute, to reason, but his mind went blank as he watched the girl he loved looked at him with sad frustrated eyes and trembling lips. He said the only thing he could, "I'm sorry."

  "Jackson, I can't do this anymore," she told him, wiping her tears. "I can't wait by wondering if we're still dating. I can't- I can't-"

  He didn't care anymore, he pulled her in a hug, hoping to comfort her, to stop her tears from falling. But she pushed him away, knowing that it will only make it harder.

  "You haven't even debuted yet," she said. "Things will only get worse. You'll be busy with your schedule, and I'll just be a nuisance."

  "What are you saying?" he asked, fearing the worst.

  Taking a deep breath, she answered as best as she could, "I'm saying it's over between us."

\---

  Jackson often wondered, if they would've stayed together if he hadn't been chosen to debut as a GOT7 member. He wondered if he had the chance to redo everything, what would have he done different. For everything he did landed him a place among some of the best people he met in his life. But it also costed him one he truly loved. He could never regret GOT7, regret his best friends. But as he looked at the folded photo in his wallet, a picture of a younger him and his beautiful Xiao Yue back during their first year together. They looked so happy. He wondered if he'll ever be as happy with another girl as he was with her.

  Looking at the photo, he realized why Jinyoung insisted on pursuing his girl. He realized why Jaebum hyung let him, even agreed to help keep it a secret. Truth be told, Jackson had never seen Jinyoung this happy in a while, and he remembered what it was like to be that happy.

  But Jackson also knew the cost of having a secret girlfriend. How hard it was to balance your time and energy. He's had late night practises followed by dates he spent asleep. He had been scolded and berated in front of the other trainees, when he decided to stay just a few extra minutes late just to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend. Worst of all, he's seen his girlfriend crying and leaving him, when he couldn't make it to their anniversary. Not even when she's offered to let him decide where to go.

  Maybe, maybe Jinyoung's right. They're two different people. Maybe Jinyoung will have a better handle on the secret relationship front.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work posted here, so be nice. this is also cross posted to aff.


End file.
